Identity Crisis: Bio-Father, Step-Father, and Alienating Sibling.?
Question by Ditto: Identity crisis: Bio-father, step-father, and alienating sibling.?
I’m a young woman, nineteen years of age, going on twenty, and I come from a rather sketchy household. A mother who had been conflicted with drugs since my birth and beyond has been out of the house for over three years now. Yet not before confessing to me that my real father wasn’t who I thought he was. There was another father. My biological father.
I got to meet this man a few years back, feeling rather excited, angry, anxious, guilty, and all those wonderful things. I was even hopeful. I got to meet someone new. Someone who I thought would feel interest in knowing I existed in life. That I was their genetic creation. Their child from afar. And I got to meet this man. Got to speak with him. Chat idly. Awkwardly a little, but it felt nice. Afterward, though, disappointments only arose.
Broken promises. Ditched meetings. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he changed his number and dropped me yet again from his life. I had been taught by my dad not to let these things get to me, and I knew I shouldn’t, so I let it go for a while.
But now, as these days go by, I’m really beginning to buckle under a lot of this stress. This alienation that I’m feeling from everybody. Truth be told, my father has been acting strangely around me probably without his notice. He’s quicker to bring up in arguments about the fact that he took me in when he didn’t have to and chose to raise me correctly, to raise me to be anything else than like my mother and my biological father. The both of them screwed me up rather badly during pregnancy. I’ve got problems from the meth she was on, from the alcohol she had taken, and from what I learned by example as growing up.
I’m almost a spitting image of my mother. Facial shape, hair shape, color, voice, and laugh. Even our personalities are quite alike – for the better and worse of the situation. And I have my father’s eyes, the way he walks, and his skin color. It’s like my dad is pinpointing these out more than ever now and it’s driving me crazy. Making me feel crazy. Hurting. Resenting.
It hurts especially as my youngest sister is reacting just as strongly to the way he’s behaving. She’s following his example and proclaiming me as the next mother – the next crazy, psychotic bitch to ruin this family. I can’t speak with her, let alone say my side of the story. She’s turning fifteen here on the first. So my father simply slides it off as teenaged angst. Yet he doesn’t see that she herself is a blossoming alcoholic, drug addict, kleptomaniac, and romping around with a twenty-year-old who was my rapist once upon a time ago. I’ve witnessed these things first hand and tried to speak with her and then with him. He defends her – hangs me out to dry.
So now here I am, hiding away and confused. I don’t know what to do or how to talk to them without either of them simply thinking I’m crying for attention.
Best answer:
Answer by Ellie
they are unhelpable. you could report your step-father to have him kept an eye on and then leave them. live somewhere further away and build YOUR life. you don revolve around them =]
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