What Does Unmanagability Mean? in Respect to a Drink and Drug Obsession/addiction?

im doing my 12 steps, as part of my rehabilitation programme to stay clean from drink and drugs, and am wondering if you guys can help me towards it. all i can think is, in my circumstances, my whole life became unmanagable, in the fact that my addiction got out of control and unmanagability. i am not cheating, im just wondering what other ways i could write it…..thanks people