Speed Dating: The Lady Baby Boomer’s Worst Nightmare
Lady baby boomers who find themselves available again late in life, either through bereavement or divorce, can find stepping into the strange world of dating in the 21st Century not only daunting but also populated with predatory beings out to use and abuse.
The comfort of a long term relationship such as marriage can bring security yet also complacence and it is common for ladies who have been in a lengthy relationship to lose touch with modern dating etiquette.
âGetting back in the saddleâ can be a traumatic experience for someone who has been accustomed to spending her evenings hooked to the television with a plate of potato chips and glass of wine. Comfortable slippers are replaced with trendy and decidedly uncomfortable stilettos and Mrs Baby Boomer sails forth to bravely conquer the dating game, expecting the social guidelines to be little changed from twenty years ago.
Psychological articles that explore relationships between men and women note that dating has become increasingly casual, even cynical, and just when we all thought networking could not get any more outrageous â up popped speed dating!
Could there be anything more unromantic than cruising a room full of strangers, small-talking each one, coldly intending to make a âpros and consâ list of the faults and virtues of each one, and against the clock! It is the essence of the cynicâs view of human relations, yet speed dating enjoyed enormous popularity when it was first introduced. Psychological articles observe its detachment is possibly its main attraction – the safety of distance; being able to âviewâ the goods safely, without obligation to purchaseâ¦try before you buy, so to speak!
Some baby boomers returning to dating after a long time off the scene find menâs attitudes to a womanâs physical allurements a little offensive. It is no longer considered impolite to make a reference to a womanâs physical attractions on early acquaintance and some women find it comforting to be complemented on the size of their breasts or the length of their legs. For older baby boomers, however, such remarks are discomforting in the extreme.
Lady baby boomers fresh to the dating game after a long absence of twenty or so years often choose speed dating as an experiment â dipping their toes in the water prior to taking the plunge. The result is usually horror and disappointment followed by blind panic as Mrs B runs for the car keys and heads home again to the TV; the bowl of potato chips and a nice soothing episode of Desperate Housewives!
Ladies contemplating dating again are better off joining a special interest or dinner dating club rather than attempting speed dating on an empty stomach. And unless you have an interest in men who drink a lot and flirt a lot, donât go looking for Mr Right in a bar or nightclub: you are certain to find the wrong kind of companion if you go searching for him in all the wrong boxes!  Take your time and find a social circle that is right for you rather than hurling yourself into a strange and uncomfortable ordeal that leaves you yearning to go home to the TV!
Dr Karen Turner, PhD, is a clinical psychologist with an interest in the baby boomer generation as the most successful and resourceful of all generations. Boomeryearbook.com focuses on connecting the baby boomer generation and providing interaction for boomers everywhere. If you are a baby boomer with an interest in the mysteries of the human brain, Boomeryearbook.com is the social network for you.
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