When Mom and Dad Disagree on Church…?
Question by Watermelon: When Mom and Dad disagree on church…?
I don’t need a debate over what denomination is the “right” one, or an attack for being Christian. It’s about how to deal with a difficult family situation that’s centered on religion. If it helps some of you form an objective and helpful answer, you can switch the denominations or even the faiths in your mind…
Here’s the situation: I grew up Episcopalian and have a pretty NON fundamental approach to church. My husband grew up Baptist. He doesn’t talk religion all that much but if you pin him down on it he does have different beliefs about things like women’s issues, his perception of morality, etc.
I’ve been taking our two young kids to a nearby Methodist church for a few years. It’s a good compromise. I love the church, the people, and especially the very active youth programs for my kids. Lots of my daughter’s schoolmates go there, and in my opinion it’s the very best choice for our family. My husband’s work hours recently changed and he’s now able to attend with us (he hardly ever could before). He’s going through a very difficult time now dealing with depression, recovery from addiction, and an uncertain job future. The chuch where he grew up (and his older parents still attend) is about 30 minutes away in a different town. His parents have grudgingly accepted that their grandkids are going to a different denomination, but they’ve made it plain that they would rather them be Baptists. We attended/”visited” his home church yesterday, and afterwards my husband announced that he wanted to make it a tradition to go there once a month from now on. That 3-1 ratio sounds reasonable, but I know him and his family and I truly fear that this will become an attempt to convert me and the kids. It’s come up before. Please understand that I respect all faiths. But for a variety of reasons including gas money, community involvement, youth oppurtunities, and, yes, my more moderate views, I just don’t want to raise my kids in that church. His parents will someday come into a lot of money, and have indicated that they would help us financially, but I can also foresee that being conditional on our allegiance. We (my husband and I) got in an argument yesterday when I hesitated on his once-a-month plan. I finally agreed so I wouldn’t seem like a jerk, but I also made it plain that this wouldn’t be part of a sly plan to change churches. It threw him even deeper into depression and he was like a frozen robot. I really do understand the longing for his childhood church, but I feel very strongly about this. My husband and his family believe that a man’s job is to lead his family, and we should do what he wants. I can’t stand that kind of belief system. What do you think?
OK – I’m getting some flak for the whole “I can’t stand that kind of belief system” comment. I don’t mean that I can’t stand his overall Christian belief. I’m a Christian. But I’m more with the times here. I DO NOT like the idea that a man is given ultimate authority over women just because he’s got different chromosomes and extra equipment. I am my husband’s equal, not employee! In Saudi Arabia women can’t drive just because they’re women. That’s not for me.
Best answer:
Answer by bongernet
The cult guide book states that women must defer to men.
You “can’t stand that kind of belief system”? Then you better find a different cult to join, the christian cult guide book is very clear on this matter.
What do you think? Answer below!