What Can I Do About My Alcohol and Drug Problem (Please Be Serious as This Is a Serious Problem)?
Question by SHELTIELUVER: What can I do about my alcohol and drug problem (please be serious as this is a serious problem)?
I’m a 34 year old woman with no kids and a boyfriend of almost eight years. I am currently living at home because I am unable to support myself due to my addictions as well as serious depression and anxiety problems. I have recently started a part-time job and I’m proud of myself for being able to do this. My problems started out arounda 6 or 7 when I began having serious depression as well as OCD. I was constantly teased at school and very withdrawn. I’d cry almost every day and this continued for years. In high school, I came out of my shell a bit. I became very attractive and was an excellent student and star tennis player. However, I still felt very awkward around fellow classmates and I began to use alcohol because it helped me be more outgoing. I also became very sexually active and did a lot of things I’m ashamed of. I also started using pot heavily as well as LSD and Cocaine. I attempted suicide several times and began seeking counseling which (cont’d)
did little for me. I tried numerous prescription drugs. I did attend college for roughly 3 years but I ended up dropping many classes due to depression or too much partying. I still found it hard to make friends or atleast the right type of friends. I also became the school tramp which only made me feel more depressed. I started using heroin heavily as well as cocaine and of course, alcohol. After I left college, I moved back home again where I did attend several rehabs and was arrested several times. I come from a college educated family but my Dad wasn’t a good person. He had a secret double life and was seeing a crack addicted exotic dancer with whom he had a child. I’m not using daily right now and I am on Methadone for my opiate problems (I also became seriously addicted to Vicodin, Oxycotin, and other RX pain-killers). I have had jobs off and on but usually have too much anxiety to work. My Mom is getting older now (almost 70) and she can’t handle my problems (cont’d)
much longer and I feel horribly guilty. The thing is, I really can’t stop. I don’t drink daily but maybe 3-4 times a week and when I do it is heavily where I usually black out. When I don’t drink, my nerves are fried. I feel awful anxiety. Is this a sign of alcoholism? I’d like to go to rehab but I have no insurance. I don’t want to go to a state funded rehab because they are full of people who are court ordered to go there and really don’t want the help. I need to go somewhere nice with very caring staff and lots of activities to get me back interested in life. It is unfair that the rich are the only ones that get to go to these rehabs. Is it possible that I will ever be able to drink responsibly? There are times I just have a couple of drinks and am fine. Lately, though, drinking makes me want to just do drugs. I really don’t like myself right now. I feel ugly and useless. My boyfriend doesn’t make much money so we can’t get a place of our own right now (cont’d)
until he gets a better job. I’m sick of being a burden to my Mom and she treats me like I’m 16 (which I guess I am mentally). The past haunts me. I was raped many times. My boyfriend’s family and friends are talking about me constantly behind my back calling me a “crackhead” which just kills me. Please, help me guys! And don’t tell me to just grow up! I wish it was that easy. I need to totally re-train my thinking. Also, I have been self-mutilating a lot lately and I don’t know why.
Best answer:
Answer by Robert N
see a psychiatry specialist.
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