Transforming Short-Term Pain Into Long-Term Gain

Transforming Short-Term Pain into Long-Term Gain

Following are 50 examples of negative beliefs. This is by no means a complete list, but as you read it mark any that you feel you might be carrying and then, add to the list any other negative beliefs that are not listed here:

In order to be attractive, I must be wealthy. 
In order to be attractive, I must be in perfect shape. 
In order to be attractive, I must have a full head of hair. 
In order to be loved, I must put others’ needs in front of mine. 
I must be perfect. 
I’m inadequate, inferior.
I’m a loser, 
There is something wrong with me, 
I’m different, 
I’m too old. 
I’m too young. 
No one will ever love me. 
Asking for help is a sign of weakness. 
When people give me a nice compliment, they are just trying to make me feel good. 
If I can’t do something well, I won’t try it. 
I always have to know what I’m doing or else I feel like I should quit. 
What other people think of me is important.
I’m the only one I can count on.
Making mistakes is a sign of stupidity.
I won’t succeed so why bother trying.
I’m not worthy to be equal to others.
If I speak up they will discover I’m a fake.
It’s my fault that my sister (brother, friend, etc.) died.
My opinion isn’t worth anything.
I don’t deserve to be happy.
My thoughts and feelings don’t matter.
I grew up poor and undeserving.
I come from a freaky family, we deserved to be shunned and ostracized.
Expressing my emotions is wrong or means I’m a weakling or a sissy.
I’m stupid for feeling this way.
No one cares about me.
It’s better to harm myself physically than to feel the emotions I’ve repressed. 
I must please people in order for them to like me.
I have to be in control of every situation.
It’s best to let someone else be in control of every situation.
I shouldn’t upset anyone.
It’s selfish to stand up for myself.
Relaxation is a sign of laziness.
Doing what I like is selfish.
I have to do everything, or nothing gets done.
I always have to be on the look out for something bad.
Worrying about people shows them I care.
Telling people what they should do shows I am smart.
The world is a very unsafe place.
Even is someone seems to like me, when they really get to know me, they won’t like me anymore.
Having a clean, orderly house shows I am a superior person.
I have to make people around me happy.
I make people sad, happy, angry, when they are around me.
I don’t like myself, why should anyone else?
I didn’t graduate high school/college, so I’m not smart enough to…   As you review your list of negative beliefs, take them one at a time and break them down for a reality check.

In my experience, as I’ve done these exercises, I use pain and gain as my measuring sticks. Typically, a negative belief or bad habit will provide you with a short-term gain but also burden you with long-term pain. Ice cream each night sure can taste good for the short time you are eating it. However, the long-term effect will be feeling unhealthy, not fitting into clothes, being judged by your waistline, and feeling bad about yourself.  

Our goal is to reprogram and reframe your patterns so that you are comfortable with the opposite effect, which is short-term pain for long-term gain. Skipping that ice cream and having an orange may be a short-term pain, but it will result in the long-term gain of being in control of your body looking your best. The more you can associate pain with a negative belief or habit, the easier it is to replace with a new belief that will bring you long-term gain.  

Staying home and studying or working instead of going out and partying may be a short-term pain, but the long-term gain will be a more successful career.   Spending 20-minutes exercising is a short-term pain that results in huge long-term gains.  

Keep in mind, that as you practice these new patterns, these activities will not really be a pain at all. You will desire the great mental and physical feeling a good work out provides you. Your body and mouth will reject ice cream and bad foods and crave healthy food instead.