The Hidden Abuse of Sexual Abuse
The hoopla over Janet Jackson’s exposing her breast on national TV, or Elvis’ gyrating, MJ’s crotch grabbing, or Adam Labert’s kiss are more indications that our country’s hypocrisy about sex is still very strong. Janet and Lambert’s actions were just the next logical step in our fascination with the extreme and with the use of sex to sell, this time themselves and their latest CD, and it worked. Many were appalled because, they said, children were watching. As if children, old enough to know, are not aware of all the subliminal and not so subliminal sex there is on TV, the Internet and, of all places, in magazines for children.
The worse abuse, though, is the denial of our own sexuality. While we are abhorred by Janet Jackson’s exposing a breast, pornography is a huge, multi-billion-dollar business just because we are in denial and are afraid to give our sexuality its rightful place in our lives. We are sexual beings, and that is good and wonderful, and we are blessed to be able to experience it in a fully conscious way. Perhaps, we are the only beings that can. Why are we so frightened of the pleasure our sexuality can give us? Science knows that the fetus masturbates. Most of us know through experience that young children play “doctor” and “show and tell.” Most importantly, science knows from painful experiments that mammals require touch to survive. We crave the touch of another, and we will go to great lengths to get it, because it is more important than any other element of survival.
Our sexuality is a complex process, far beyond the meeting of genitals; and it is a process that envelops the human being in a cocoon of sensuality. It begins in the womb with the fetus bathed in liquid warmth, nurtured by the very blood of its mother, and comforted by the ever-present beating of that nearby heart. Nine months of such intimacy from our earliest moments, leaves us craving that closeness for the rest of our lives. We search for it in relationship with living beings, and if we do not find it where it is most natural, we will substitute for it whatever will give us some comfort.
Our sexuality is as natural as any function of our body, and much more important, because it is so closely connected to our first sensual experience of consciousness in our mother’s womb. Our womb experience was totally sensual, and unless we find that sensuality outside the womb, we will not survive in any balanced human form. That is why children, if allowed to be what they naturally are, will crave to be held, touched and caressed. I once had a client who from the age of eight until the age of fifty-three when she completed her therapy, lived in a hell of shame and blame that caused her immune system to shut down, developing a terminal illness from which her doctors told her she would not recover. This lady, this eight-year-old child, deprived of normal human affection, gravitated to the only warmth and affection available in her cold and sterile environment, the gentle touch of the man who cleaned the floors of the of the hospital ward in which she was isolated. Over time he won her trust. He held her, he caressed her, took advantage of her trust and fondled her; but she looked forward to his presence every night, because his was the only affection she received during each long, lonely day.
Who of us would condemn her to death for longing for and permitting the touch of another human being? She condemned herself, because she was programmed unknowingly by those whom she looked up to as the bearers of ultimate truth, to believe that what she had done was despicable, unforgivable and worthy of a sentence of death. Without knowing it, we too, through our frightened and rigid belief systems about our sexuality, have condemned to a slow death the millions of children who have been molested. Many times, the abused childdoes not know they have been abused. Do we really know how many there are? The latest statistics say one in four, but those are only the ones that have been reported. It is time that they are released from their self-imposed death row. It is time that they understand that they were not to blame, even if they willingly permitted and even enjoyed, and looked forward to the touch of their molester. The worse abuse is not the abuse of the bodies, but that of the hearts and the very souls of these children, the emotional child abuse, by those who would have us fear one of our most basic human needs.
We, our society, are to blame for the life-long suffering of these children, not only because we program them about how terrible childhood abuse is, but because we have taken away from them the one ability they instinctively have that can save them from it. A child may be too young to know the difference between a leg, an arm, a butt, and a crotch, but there is a way for children to instinctively “know” if someone means them harm. That natural, instinctive knowledge is programmed out of most of them from birth, leaving them utterly defenseless. Then we blame, stigmatize the abused child. In some countries, young people are even put to death if they are raped. Do you remember seeing those horrible security tapes showing the teenage girl in Florida being meekly lead away to her death? How about clergy abuse, how does that happen? Those events did not have to happen, because there is a way to give that instinct back to children, and it will protect them very well. Child abuse prevention begins in the mind of the child, and I’m not talking about spreading more fear with stranger danger, but about giving them back their deepest, most inherent instincts that every mammal has, and that we have taken away from our children. It’s far worse than de-clawing our family cat and then putting it outside to fend for itself.
In a related article called Healing the Children, we’ll talk specifically about what this instinctive ability is, how it works, and how we can re-activate it in our children for their well being for the rest of their lives. Incidentally, all of us have this dormant instinct that can provide us with every personal answer we will ever need to create a life of abundance as we walk through our days.
Copyrighted, 2005-2009, Sgscalese
Stephen Scalese was a psychotherapist for more than thirty years, until he discovered a better way to give people their minds back. In his book, The Whisper In Your Heart, Stephen tells how, as her therapist, he helped Nancy to heal herself of terminal cancer by finding within her mind a special intelligence that guided them on a five-year healing adventure that not only saved her life but healed his as well. After more than thirty years of personal and clinical study, Stephen knows that we all have this special intelligence that has for us, in real time, every answer we will ever need as we walk through our days.
Stephen continues to quietly revolutionize our understanding of who we really are with his new model of the mind. He shares his discoveries in writings, seminars, private sessions, and workshops with those who have ears to hear and open hearts. Explore the beautiful site http://anewmind.net as you discover the marvelous new mind you already have.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stephen_Scalese
Child Abuse Prevention Breakfast Video 2011
Because April is Child Abuse Prevention Month,Franklin County Children Services and the Citizens Advisory Committee recently hosted the annual Child Abuse Prevention Breakfast to recognize the accomplishments of youth, families, socialworkers and community advocates. Read more at www.franklincountyohio.gov
An Act to Amend the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, the Family Violence Prevention and Services Act
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child abuse prevention
Original publisher: [Washington, D.C.: U.S. G.P.O., 2010] OCLC Number: (OCoLC)706131638 Subject: Child abuse — Law and legislation — United States. Excerpt: … (B) in subparagraph (C)– (i) in the matter preceding clause (i), by inserting “tribal,’ after “State,’; (ii) in clause (i), by striking “and’ at the end; and (iii) by adding at the end the fo
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The APSAC Handbook on Child Maltreatment
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child abuse prevention
Offering the most comprehensive exploration of child abuse for emerging scholars and professionals alikeCovering all aspects of child maltreatment-from prevention to intervention to treatment to the legal system-this seminal resource brims with the latest research and practical information from leading scholars that both future and current professionals can use. Key Features With approximately 80% new material and a completely reorganized structure, this resource has been thoroughly updated to r
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Some Parts are Not for Sharing
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child abuse prevention
Product Description
Travel with a pair of friendly fish as they learn about what parts of our bodies we share with others. Children will learn what the boundaries of appropriate touching are in a very non-threatening way. School Counselor Julie Federico begins the imperative conversation of personal boundaries in Some Parts are not for Sharing. Children will enjoy learning about their bodies as they get some important information from a pair of fish. Parents will marvel at the simple straig
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More Child Abuse Prevention Information…