Suicidal Thoughts, Guys Problems, Got to Move Out soon…I Want to Die Plz Help Me…?
Question by RainbowBrite: Suicidal thoughts, guys problems, got to move out soon…I want to die Plz Help me…?
So right now I am on the brink of becoming very suicidal. Over a man, over stress, over life. I am so over everything. At age 22 I should not be feeling the depression I feel and having the suicidal thoughts I am having. Please do not tell me to go to a doctor as I refuse to allow anyone to try and put me on those personality altering drugs!
So basically I have had many horrible experiences with men. I have even dropped all my college courses and moved to Puerto Rico to be with a guy that was stationed out there just to have him verbally abuse me and use me for sex. After that relationship it was hard to trust men. I found a man here in Florida that I fell for and was everything I could imagine wanting in a man. Respectful, charming and funny…and easy on the eyes! Well, he just got restationed and since he is a Navy Seal he is always traveling and doesn’t want a relationship. I want to be with him so badly, it is tearing me up inside. I have tried to give other guys chances but they are nothing compared to him and I cannot settle for less than what I feel my heart truly desires.
Aside from that I have to move out of my current place because my roommate and I have a difference in lifestyles and he wants me out so he can move a stripper in for free, go figure. I have to be out by September 1st and I do not know where I am going. I have thought about moving to San Diego because that is where the Navy Seal got restationed but he said we would only be friends because right now with his job he doesn’t want the commitment of a relationship. Part of me wants to chase after him because nothing comes easy in this world, if you want something you have to go after it. Then another part of me says “Hello, think back two years ago when you did this same thing for a guy and moved to Puerto Rico!” …it’s like I never learn. Why do I meet these people, what is God’s reasoning in making me meet these people that make me feel so euphoric temporarily and leave me with heartache and pain permanently!?
So at this point feeling heartbroken and crying during the day and not having a damned clue as to where I am moving to when the month is up, I just feel like if I died it would clear up all these problems. Not a temporary fix to my problems, a permanent fix to my problems. Since life loves to give me temporary pleasure and permanent pain I think it is better to fix this situation permanently. I am very scared of dying, as I sit and wonder what is next and what happens to the people who end their lives early? Do they have to finish their remaining time elsewhere because they supposedly “cheated their true death” or do they go the same way everyone else does as if it was their time to die. If it wasn’t our time to die wouldn’t God somehow prevent us from committing suicide. Am I over analyzing this a bit?
I need some advice, I need some insight but not from no damned doctors who want to prescribe me drugs. I am not a crazy person, I am a very loving and passionate, intellectual young woman. I have been on some rough rides through life and things just seem to be getting worst with each aging year. I don’t know what to do and where to go from here. I don’t want to move back to my home state of NC and live with my parents, that is not me. I love to travel and traveling is what I have been doing. Traveling to San Diego is an option but remember it would be so I could follow that man that has my heart, even though he doesn’t want a relationship and I am sure that has “trouble” written all over it.
Advice, insight?
Best answer:
Answer by amitkumar231
you need family support at this time ..get some stability in your life , i think you can postpone your travelling for some time though , suicide Doesnt solve any of problems so dont think of it .
you have some problem finding a real love, rest is fine with your life
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