SHould I Let Their Mother Visit With Their Mother After Father’s Death??

Question by Jukie__Girl: SHould I let their mother visit with their mother after father’s death??
I really care about my cousins, one is 14 the other is 3.The 14 year old feels a great amount of hate for his mother who has been in a “drug rehab” program for 3 years.I dont know how true this is about the rehab thing but its what my family says.She wants to visit them since their father has passed away only a week ago.The 3 year old loves his mother dearly and hopes to live with her one day.I am afriad that when she visits the 3 year he will want to go back with her,and this may cause more stress in his life.Should I tell her that she can not visit? 3 year old is having trouble sleeping,eating,and playing with other,kids,and is now getting help.I dont want this to make her visit with him have a more negative affect than his father’s death.

Best answer:

Answer by dojcjfreak
I think you should meet with the mother first to make sure that she is sober and well enough to see her kids. Talk to the 14 year old and see how he feels. It is really between him and his mom whether they have a relationship and what sort of relationship they have. Invite the mother to write a letter to both her children. They then have the option of writing back. (In the case of the 3 year old obviously through dictation). Basically leave the 14 year old to do what he wants to do, he has reasons to be angry and it is his choice whether he can forgive or not, or trust or not.

As to the 3 year old I’d talk about how his mom loves him very much but that she is fighting a sickness right now and cannot care for other people because she has to work so hard on caring for herself and that she has gotten better enough that she may be able to visit for a short time and would he like her to stop by for a visit. Make sure he realizes that this doesn’t mean that she is all better but just that she is better enough for a visit and that she wants to get a lot better so she can be with him more.

What do you think? Answer below!