Should I Let My Mother See My Children?

Question by Pebbles: Should I let my mother see my children?
My mother and I have not gotten along since my birth. I am not one to put my life on public display but I don’t think private counseling sessions with this woman would benefit anyone. Our relationship is toxic and I at age 33 have finally accepted this as fact. The last “blow up” if that’s what you want to call it, was over a disagreement about a disciplinary action that my husband had decided to take with my daughter. My husband stuck to his guns, and she didn’t get her way so she started by kicking us out of her house. This did not get her her way, so she proceeded to call Social Services the next the day. Social Services did not feel that is was a case of “abuse” so she proceeded to tell my daughters school that I was danger to her and had them believing that I was coming to sign her out of school and take her away to some unknown place because I was mentally unstable. It was my daughters birthday, I was picking her early to take her out to lunch and instead I was detained by police for two hours. Well, after that charade had played out and I had assured the school that we were not moving until the following month as I had informed them two weeks prior, I felt that she had nothing left. Now, this is all normal reaction from my mother. This is the kind of person she is…DRAMA. Long story short….too late….I called her to ask her for my belongings, some furniture and boxes she had stored for me (I know, a snowballs chance in hell) and she says no. So, I called an attorney to ask what my next step should be since storming into her home and taking it was not nice and/or illegal. I was informed that I would have to take her to small claims court which reluctantly I did because my husband encouraged me to “stand up for myself.” He quickly learned that the only way to “stand up” to this woman was to “stand down”. All Holy Hell breaks loose again. First, she hired a blind attourney….for small claims court. Then she pays this woman, that I don’t even know, to lie in court and say that she’s my cousin and that I sold her all of my belongings for crack. I was 5 months pregnant. She was ordered to give back what I could prove was mine and the judge shut down our little circus act. On the way out of the court room I, five months pregnant I am approached by a deputy sheriff and informed that I have an outstanding warrant for my arrest from 5 years ago. (The result of another argument.) I was arrested, booked, and released within an hour with my date to return to court. I was able to prove that I was not in the state at the time of the allegation with a time/date stamped police report and request for an order of protection against my mother who was in another state harassing me…not the other way around. The order of protection was granted by the way…another drama filled court case story for another day. The case was thrown out, and I swore never to let her into my life again. For two years now, I have beat myself up over our failed mother/daughter relationship and till this day I am still fighting the gut feeling that I am the bad guy. She recently started contacting me on the INTERNET, but I’m still so hurt that I cant give her my phone number, my address, NOTHING. I have been keeping her at bay for the last three weeks not knowing her intentions but longing for that “mother” that I have always wanted but will never get. I won’t let her see my kids because I don’t have time for Social Services, and trying to prove myself as a parent mainly, but her presence ALWAYS means interference. I doubt myself enough without scrutiny from the public. I really don’t physically want her in my life…but emotionally I feel as if I am committing a mortal sin by doing so. What is wrong with me?

Best answer:

Answer by tuffy68
NO

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