Really Long Story but I Need Advice Really Bad Im Confused :S :(?
Question by help wanted: really long story but i need advice really bad im confused :S :(?
Hey, i dont know where to start. so i guess ill just start with my age. im 19 years old, and ive been in a relashionship with this guy for about 2 years now.
he’s wonderful, he completes me and when were together i am the happiest. he understands me, hes caring, and ive never felt more loved from anyone but him.
he’s my first true love as well as “solid” relashionship. however when we first started knowing each other i found out he was a party animal. he did weed, some pills and just stupid teenage drug experimentation. i didnt think much of it at first, and honestly when we first started talking i didnt care as much as i do now, about him. anywas his ways escalated from weed and pills to cocaine, and finally heroine. he tired that a couple of times and for a while it took over his life. we broke up a while after i found out about it (almost 1 year after weve been together). after we broke up he vowed to clean up, for good. so i gave him another chance. and he did for a bit. he tried to. but old habits die hard. anyways he got involved with something (wrong place at the wrong time) and ended up in jail for around 41 days. i stuck by him the whole time. when he came out he was amazed at the fact that i actually stuck by him in such a situation and i didnt abandon him. that motivated him to change his habits once and for all. his partying decreased. he started putting a little more effort in studying etc. then one day he was having some problems at home, and he was found using heroin again. at that point i broke. i told him this was it, his last chance you clean up now or im leaivng for good. (i know i gave him ALOT of chances)
but this time, it worked. day by day he proved to me that indeed he stopped. he got clean mostly on his own with my support and recently started going to rehab. things were going great. then the rehab place said that his program is going to take 15 months for him to be 100% clean again. he didnt like the idea at all. he got into a fight at home and left started sleeping at his friends and at the same time he was having some problems with finalizing court issues.
anywas during that time, he was still up to his promise clean and out of trouble but we barely spoke
did i mention were currently in a long distance relationship? been so for around 6 months.
so yeah, we barely spoke (phone, msn, msgs) and this gave me a time to think
i was sick of his problems and his ways! i was so angry and i thought to myslef… if i stay with him now and love him and all, at the end of the rode when the day comes for him to propose (we talked about marrige) i doubt my parents would allow me to settle for an x drug addict convict. i finally listened to my head and not my heart
i explained that to him and i broke up..after we broke up i tried to talk to a couple of guys, but the more i talked to guys the more i reliesed wow..none of these guys seem to get me. i miss him alot! and i sitll love him, it seems that i will never find anyone like him, or close. hes just so wonderful personaity wise but he hes made alot of bad choices..
im okay with forgetting the past, but i dont want to waste my time and his and then at the end not be able to be together.
he told me before that im the reason hes happy, im the reason hes changed, im the reason he looks forward for life later on
his family also counted on me when he was getting clean cuz he only listened to what i had to say when i told him to do somehting
and now im confused! i dont have anyone close like a parent or someone mature like that to ask for advice so i resided to here hoping maybe i can find some help, some answers. please. every time i think of me being apart from him i get so sad, i start crying at the thought of him.. and the fact that i might have ruined the most beautiful thing i ever had, with all its flaws, it was one of the happiest experiances. i feel guilty cuz i didnt wanna hurt him or abandon him, i feel sad cuz he might hate me now. althought he did try to talk to me and he always checks up on me. i want to be with him so bad, but i also think about later on and if its worth it
should i hurt now rather then hurt big time later one?
thanks for taking the time to read this i know its rly long lol
Best answer:
Answer by Malos
You have so much to think about. But my opinion would be for you to move on for a while. Stay single if you chose but see what else is out there. Get your life started and feel comfortable with yourself. You have practically babysat your bf for the last 2 years and right now I think you need time for yourself. Since he is away..out of town..take advantage. Its never easy to get over a person you love so much. You can still have love for him but you need to focus on something else other than him….YOU!
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