Q&A: I Think I May Have Given Up Hope…?

Question by Person: I think i may have given up hope…?
Im 14, I’ve had a lot of crap happen in my life. I found out the other day that my dad ended up in jail…again. Before this he was staying in a house my Grandparents provided, had a minimal but ok income, had been out of jail for over 2 years, and had conquered his addiction to drugs. But then out of nowhere came “friends” and “his loving girlfriend” and all of a sudden he was drinking a lot again. and got drunk and got in a fight with one of his “friends” and ended up in jail, this happened about a month ago and he’ll be getting out next week.

I love my dad, we seem to go through the same problem through out our life, we can’t escape our past. My dad has the strongest personality you could ever see…but he can’t handle change. he also is diagnosed with minor bipolar depression. what I’m concerned about is that when i found out he ended up in jail after doing so well I didn’t feel sad, mad, or even surprised. It makes me sad that i feel pretty much numb about the whole thing.

heres how the phone call went

me, “so any news?”
gma, ” well you’re dad ended up in jail…again”
me, “really? that sucks” (note my voice didn’t change at all)
gma, ” yup He got in a fight with *BLANK*”
the rest of the phone call was just conversation about random things

I love my Dad more than anything but i guess this my question…have i given up hope because i feel so numb about this whole thing?

Best answer:

Answer by Kell
I feel your pain.
It’s not that you have given up hope on your dad its just that you are use to it. As sad as that sounds its pretty normal. Alot of people don’t understand that alcohol is an addiction just like any other drug and by him being bipolar doesn’t help. Listen I’m 28 and i think I was around 13/14 when I realized my mom had a problem and when i turned 17/18 I realized no matter how much you love, care and want to see a person do better you can’t do anything about it untill THEY are ready to make that change in their life. So in some sense you do become numb to the feeling. I remember my mom was in the hospital almost my entire senior year of HS but it didn’t really phase me in my everyday life because that was her decision. Of course I don’t mean she wanted to get sick but what got her sick was the alcohol.
I love my mom dearly and will do anything for her except buy her liquor.
My final thought: Let your dad know how much his actions are effecting you and how you really feel about it. If he doesn’t or cant change then you have to move forward with your life. Your 14 now and in four years you will be out on your own and hopefully college. I recommend you seek counseling of some sort to sort out the issues you have with your dad. I’m not saying your crazy or anything like that but I just realized this last year that I have unresolved issues with my mom and I need to seek counseling.
Good Luck and hey no matter what your dad does I hope you know he loves you.

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