Q&A: Am I Being Unreasonable to Her? Am I Unfit for Her?

Question by Love Stricken: Am I being unreasonable to her? Am I unfit for her?
Am 28 year old guy whose been going out with my first ever girlfriend for the past 8 years.She is 6 years younger to me.Her cousin introduced us when she was 14 and I was 21.She was the 1st girl I had been with and I was also her 1st ever boyfriend
1st 2 years I did not take her seriously as I thought of her just a teenager who is going out with me to brag about it to her high school mates
But since day 1,she always told me how she fell for me not because of my looks but coz of d kind of human being I am(she heard praises of me form my close friends who were her 1st cousins).I always use to wonder why would such a beautiful,intelligent girl fell for an average joe like me.coz she was under strict checks by her folks(we come from super conservative society)we only got a chance to meet once every couple of months.We still hadn’t had sex after 3 years of going out with each other.I would always ask her for it but she would say that “she’s underage and not ready”
But she still stuck strong with me even through my alcohol addiction
Each time I saw her I use to feel myself slowly falling in love with her.Whenever she would come over,she’d cook these fantastic meals n was gr8 with my mates n was appearing to be the splitting image of the “ideal woman” I always dreamt of
Fast forward 2 more years at 17 her Mom passed away n she was shattered- She would cry to me over the phone for hours n I remember not having much to say 2 her
A month after her Mom’s death is when we had sex.She did not want to n even pushed me n refused when I tried to “penetrate” her.but something came over me n had to do it.Although after refusing a couple of times,she got into the act.but when she got home she told me that I raped her- but I can not fathom the idea of me being so inhumane that I could rape her n I never admitted to her .frankly I don’t know if it was a rape or not(also after this I was once drunk and i told her I didn;t like the sex with her- Oh now looking back,I feel could kill myself for my rudeness) but after that it was like the flood gates were open- she became so horny n we started doing it often now she had became the ultimate “sex goddess” for me She was the perfect woman- she was a whore in bed, chef in the kitchen n I loved her to bits. Finally I proposed to her on her 18th birthday
her father was always against our relationship.She even got beaten by her Dad for not listening to him when he asked her to break up with me
he agreed to our engagement reluctantly but he said that the wedding won’t take place until my fiancee completes her education.Immediately after our engagement gala, she was sent off by her Dad to switzerland for her higher studies
Now its been three years since I last met her.we talk with each other 4-5 times a DAY n my family loves her.she always reminds me of bdays n anniversaries of everyone in my family
Her reason for not coming back to meet me is “her studies” coz she is “super intelligent” she did her bachelors and masters all in three years. hence she never got holidays long enough to go back home.She asked me to come over to see her in Switzerland many times but I do not want to
She insists that she is not delaying coming back on purpose.I am so damn upset-I have begun drinking since she went away n have become obese n all o do all day is listlessly sit all day flickin thru tv.I try n be productive but I simply can’t concentrate because thoughts of her consume me-According to her,I have become ever more so difficult coz I became an alcoholic n blame her 4 not loving me n being infidel n twice in these 3years I swore on her very badly once coz she did not answer my phone
She then told me the engagement’s off..because I went over the board with cursing her n calling her a “cock sucking bitch”I apologised to her n after a lot of convincing she reconciled with me.This was last year.
But still whenever I talk to her when i am drunk I end up saying things to her that would hurt her(once i asked her to strip off on the webcam and ended up telling her that her boobs were big for my taste and much more- she slit her wrists for that and ended up staying in the hospital
She also proposed the idea of me stop taking alcohol so as to avoid altercations between the 2 of us but I can not stop taking alcohol as it seems to fade the pain of being away from her. I made a counter offer that I would not touch it the day she comes back n would never drink after we get married n I am determined to stick to my word
So now she’s coming back nxt week .She recently landed herself a job as a CEO for a MNC company n every1 around jokes saying that “she’s superior to me” all i do is sit at home n they say she’s going places.I do feel low sometimes but I am happy for her to be going ahead cause I LOVE HER THE MOST

THIS IS ALL LAID BARE FOR YOU GUYS TO JUDGE
I hope to get a UN

Best answer:

Answer by epic
OK let me lay it bare for you…. you had no business being with a 14 yr old. You should be in jail. Not only have you managed to destroy her teenage years by being in her life, you continue your manipulative comtrolling behavior into her adult life. Be a real man and end it for her sake. Let her know what it is not to live for a worthless bastard for once. JERK! Its not all about you.

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