My Husband Is a Drug Addict?

Question by Kristy: my husband is a drug addict?
he is in rehab right now and unable to call me. i can’t visit him either because he is in a 2 year program and the first 6 months he can’t have any contact with his friends or family. i’m jus wondering if my husband is just a drug addict or if he also has some sort of mental problem. because he likes to tell his friends that i stalk him. yes when he is out of rehab or prison i call his friends sometimes to look for him because he is missing for days at a time when he is high but he tells people all the time i stalk him so i told him stalking is only when you don’t want to be with someone and they follow you around. he said its still considered stalking if i even look around for him in waikiki because i can’t find him sometimes. when he is sober he is ok. i jus recently went back to jail and got transfered to a residential treatment yesterday. before he got sent to rehab i told him me n my friend were going to nar-anon meetings. he told me he told his drug counselor i was going to the meetings and he wanted to know the name of the meetings because it would be helpful for our relationship. i tried to ask him what he meant by that but he wouldn’t tell me. i’m afriad he said something bad about me to his counselor because he told me his counselor told him that i’m addicted to him. so i started snapping on the phone with him the other day because i have no idea why she would say something like that unless he said something about me. i asked him if he was lieing and he said that his counselor said i was addicted to him but if he was really the one saying that. its hard to believe him because in the past he would tell his probation officer that i was a stalker and all kinds of lies about me when i would call her up n tell her when he was back to using again n she would believe him not me. do you think this behavior is because of his drug addiction or could it be more than that. my friend n i were talking n he told me that maybe my husband is anti-social because he always talks about how men n women all want to have sex with him because he is so hot n i would never leave him because he is so fine n that i’m addicted to him jus like all his ex’s where. so should i call his counselor tomorrow and ask her if she said i was addicted to him. he said he never said that n she said that because all spouses are addicted to their addict husband or wife. i don’t know what to believe. i love him but i don’t know if its worth waiting for him to come out of recovery as i’m afraid of what other kinds of stuff he might make up about me but at the same time he claims he loves me n gets very upset if i don’t write or come to see him when he was in prison. i’m so confused. i’m hoping he will make it in rehab because the last time he got kicked out for having his cell phone n when they sent him to a clean n sober house they sent him back to jail a month ago for using drugs again so know that is why the court decided to send him to a very much stricter rehab. i’m afraid that if he does good n once he comes out he will be using again because all his friends do drugs. he doesn’t have one friend who doesn’t n his dad has always been a drug addict n started my husband to use drugs n always offers him when he knows he’s not suppose to be using. please help me figure out what i can do and why he is doing this.
we also got into a fight over the phone 2 nights about before he got sent to rehab when he was still locked up because he wanted to use my ipod in rehab but i told him no because he might lose it or break it because he’s lost things or minds even his in the past and also broke them. i was so mad and told him that do i look like a store or bank account because he always asks me for things and he told me but he gives me his time when he was in the clean n sober house n i knew he was trying to get clean but thats why he relapsed is because i kept bugging him to spend time with me when he was suppose to go to his meeting which he did but i don’t understand why he always says that he gives me his time and sex. n he wonders why i snap at him. i don’t know why he says these things if its because of the drugs or because he has anti-social personality. but yet he says he loves me n he wouldn’t know what to do if i left him.
also i have bipolar and social anxiety so its hard to get out to meet people. i’ve suffered from social anxiety my whole life n my husband is the only person i know. he claims the reason why he does drugs is because i get him so mad because of my bipolarness n thats what makes him relapses n says its not me its him. but i know when people say its not you its me they really do mean you because why would he say its because of my bipolar. i was diagnosed with bipolar until 4 years ago. we’ve been married for only 3 years but we’ve been together for almost 12 years since i was 15 n he was 19. he is now 31 and i’m going to be 27 at the end of this year. do you think i became bipolar because of the things he put me thru?

Best answer:

Answer by WL42424
Just get a divorce. Why beat yourself up over a druggy. He may recover and be a different person, but you need to help yourself first. Your his wife you have the right to know where he is and what he is doing and if he doesn’t like that then he doesnt really want to be in a commited relationship.

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