I Don’t Know if I Should Keep Helping My Mom?

Question by lilNDNgrrl501: I don’t know if I should keep helping my mom?
Okay, once upon a time my mom was a good mother to me. Here’s a little info on her background history growing up: her mother wasn’t there for her so she was a wild teen and had me when she was 14! Yes, crazy I know, but later in life she found Jesus and raised me in the church.

But she didn’t complete get it right then either. I’m the oldest and I have 3 younger siblings and we all have different dads. She did a good job at being there for me and my the sibling directly under me, but when the last two siblings were small children, she shipped us all off to Native American boarding school. It was suppose to be a temporary thing while she moved to California and tried to get settled there so she could come get us out of boarding school. Well…she failed miserably and came back with a crack addiction. She came back my senior year of high school (I am now 24 years old). I didn’t know immediately about her addiction because she tried to hide it.

When she came back, we were all living with my grandma. She got an apartment and just supported herself. Her addiction got to the point to where we noticed it (well me and the sibling directly under me who is 2 years younger than me). We didn’t know what to think. It got worse, we found out that she started prostituting herself to support her habit. I totally lost respect for her then. She was now a horrible mother. I felt sorry for my youngest two siblings at the time who were around the ages of 6 and 8. They don’t know what a wonderful mom she was to me and the sibling under me. She was/is a totally different person, to the point where I had a V.P.O against her.

Ok, fast forward to present. Her addicition got so bad that she now has AIDS. She found out last year. So, me, still loving my mom very much but not wanting to support her habits have been helping her get treatment to manage her HIV. She has gotten alot better, but I still don’t let her get too close because she will use me in a second if she is on a crack binge. She has tried treatment once, and has talked about going back, but is still living the life style of a crack-addict.

Sorry for the long story, but I’m getting to the point. Okay tonight she asked me if I would put minutes on her pre-paid cell phone, and I told her I would do it in the morning (I work nights). While taking a late nap before work she bangs on my apartment door. She had gotten a ride to me and demanded that I help her. Reluctantly I tell her that I will try to buy it online for her. Her ride outside starts honking, and all of a sudden he starts knocking on my door (I have no idea who this is). My mom runs to the door and he pokes his head inside and tries to see whats taking so long. He asks who I am and starts looking me up and down like a pervert! My mom tries to introduce us and then he starts taking some steps in my house! I say that he needs to leave and that my husband will be home from work soon. He says something like oh yea is he going to be a horny dog when he gets here? I say you need to leave because we have a shot gun. He’s like where is it? At that point my mom shoos him away. She then tells me I need to pay for his gas because he drove alot to get her here. I am furious at this point! I tell her she needs to leave and she has totally disrespected my house. She is still standing there arguing with me that she needs her minutes and I need to give her gas money!!! I start yelling because she still isn’t leaving. I have to threaten to call my husband, security and police before she leaves. By the way this is part of the reason for the former V.P.O.

My husband has been understanding with her until this point, he is now like: no more! The reason I feel bad is I’m really the only one who helps my mom get to her doctor appointments. And she is getting better. I’m afraid that if I don’t help her that she’s not going to live much longer. (she waited way too long to get treatment and has been getting sick alot). She makes it very hard to feel sorry for her, but at the same time I remember what a good mother she was and I don’t want her death to be because I didn’t help her.

Its a huge dilemma. Thanks, if you acutally read to this point. Any advice would be helpful.

Best answer:

Answer by Joshua
cut your losses. you dont need a crack addict mom.

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