Children of Drug Addicts?

Published May 16, 2010

I’m 23 years old and as far back as I can remember my dad abused drugs (prescription and illegal) and alcohol. I tried to forgive him for a lot of things he did to our family (running off and leaving us for months on end, physical violence) and have a relationship with him. But it was always him asking me for money and talking to me like I was nothing when I wouldn’t give it to him.And everytime he would talk about our childhood, he would always say he did the best he could for us kids and it wasn’t his fault we were placed in foster care.

I finally got fed up and quit talking to him about three years ago.
He has called me two times but I tell him I don’t want to talk to him and I saw him once walking down the street when I went home from college a couple of months ago. I learned a couple of months ago that he was homeless and living in the woods, he has since moved into a U-haul place where they rent campers. He still abuses drugs and alcohol and has told my brother so on several occasions.

I know that not talking to him anymore is the best thing for me because I’m so much happier without the stressful relationship but I still feel guilty for him and sad about his life situation.

So with all of that, I guess my question is for those of you who are children of addicts, how do you deal with the guilt? If you don’t have guilt, how did you move on?

There are those people who will say that I should respect my dad because he is my father and I say if you haven’t been in my situation then you have no idea what you are talking about. Don’t get me wrong, just because I don’t talk to him, doesn’t mean I don’t love him. I would be heartbroken if anything happened to him but I think it would be hard for you to empathize with me if you have never dealt with a parent who is an addict.
Thanks in advance for your comments. 🙂

Children of Drug Addicts?

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