Boyfriend on Heroin – Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Question by nika: Boyfriend on Heroin – do I stay or do I go?
We met about 7 months ago and instantly fell in love. He was so nice, so loving, so caring, great with my kids (I have kids from previous marriage), treated me like a princess. We had so much fun just being together, cooking, took a trip to California (the best time ever). No one ever loved me like he did. BUT. There was always something weird – his eyes – sometimes in the evening he would come from work and his eyes look like half closed. Then he was taking some pills (he called them subs or riggs). He said that long time ago he used to do heroin (not for a long time) and that he has to take these pills to stay off it. I never did anything like that so I had no idea. Then the problems started – he lost a job, then another job loss, then no money, always looking tired and the eyes..I can’t describe it – its like sometimes they are empty and shallow as there is no soul there. A month ago he finally confessed that he has been using “a little bit” of heroin “sometimes”. I was in shock – I hvae children, we just moved in together. I cried every single day. I tried to help. I tried to talk. I went to NA to get some info. I started finding spoons (bend over) with black stuff in the bottom and white on top. Started catching him lying ALL THE TIME. I kicked him out. He begged to come back. He is making me feel guilty – like I am not supportive enough, like I don’t understand what that is. I feel that maybe he is manipulating me. I check his phone and find calls to dealers. Anyway, several days ago he went to the bathroom and I just FELT it, you know? I don’t know how I knew – I picked bathroom door very fast and there he was – with a needle, spoon and a bag of heroin. I kicked him out right away. He cried and begged. GOD, I feel terrible. I cry every second of the day, I pray. He wrote me some messages that he is going to OD, he is going to die, blah, blah, blah. I just can’t have a heroin addict in the house with my children. Now when I look back I think he was always on it, because I remember these eyes – he always had them. Please, does anyone have experience with heroin addicted loved one? I don’t know if I am supposed to be there for him – he is asking me for money, he is asking me to go to NA meetings, but he is constantly doing it (I think). He only confesses when I find stuff on him. I read online that when one is addicted they just don’t care about anything anymore and they lie, lie, lie. If I am right though – why can’t I sleep at nihgt…I have dreams of him shooting it, dying…What if he dies because I didn’t help him? I am lost, I dont know what to do. I thought about it today – in the past 7 months my life changed so much. I started drinking because I am always worried and stressed, I have less money, I don’t pay attention to the kids as much as I should because I always think about him…I wish I knew exactly what to do…Plz help with advice 🙁

Best answer:

Answer by Sir Big Fat Wombat
Go. Run. He loves Heroin, heart and soul he loves heroin. Get him out of your life totally and don’t look back. He is poison to himself and anyone close to him.

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