My Behavior and Life……?

Question by Jacey G: My behavior and life……?
So I live on my own. I’m 17 years old. I don’t have anybody in my life to turn to. I use to live with my teacher and then I caught her boyfriend cheating on her; so I had to move out to my counselors house; then her home was full of drama so I had to leave; because I had enough drama in my life. Before all those homes I have been badly sabotaged by some awful family who kicked me out 2 in the morning on the streets. I’ve been in many many homes through out my life. I have 11 siblings and they are drug addicts and criminals and alcoholics. For myself; I started drugs at a young age. 9 years old I was smoking pot and drinking. by the time I was 12 I was doing meth and coke and E, then I got sent to rehab and got clean. I’ve been clean ever since I was 15 years old. I have the odd beer now and then…but Im not haywire like my family. Anyways…I havent been at school..because I was taking care of my Mum who was suffering from cancer..and recently passed away on Christmas morning. God bless you Mum. Other than that I have nobody else…besides my boyfriend who I have been with for 6 months. I think we see eachother too much because we argue a lot and I’m very short with people because I have a guard up towards ANYBODY because I have been badly bruised through out my whole life. I live on the bad part of town, where they are hookers and the pub is just across the street and a lot of drug dealing happens. My sister is a drug dealer; she is 20 and I am 17. My sister found out where I lived and started getting me to sell crack. I did it 3 times and the other night I quit. I quit because I didn’t feel right at all. I feel so ashamed and I feel my life is going no where. I feel I want to die in the most unforgettable way in life. I want to be known, I want to be free. I want happiness. I am happy…I am happy sometimes! my boyfriend.I love him to tears, I just wish I could be better for him. Just like I told my Mum before she passed away. ” I wish I could give you everything and anything! ” I feel awful for selling…the people I have met really scared me and effected me in ways I can’t really explain. I just want other peoples opinions..Please..No rude comments. & THE reason why I started dealing is because my sister is very intimidating to me, and I feel I’ve got to put them ahead of me. It’s like I got myself stuck between a rock and a brick wall. My brothers and sisters are very very scary people! theyre involved with guns and weapons..and the funny thing is people tel me to report them. I do. and they just get right back out of jail and continue to ruin their life and try and take over mine. My brother beat my Father on new years until he was 2 heart attacks and fractured his skull. and broke my other brothers nose and *yadda* and the police arrested him for a few days and got out for our mums funeral. I dont know i give up.. I need advise…conseling yeah and theropy I’ve done it all……but I’m just lost.

Best answer:

Answer by Akari
Finish school and get a job? In my opinion you should cut off contact with the rest of your family. Family is supposed to be loving and supportive, not trying to push you to sell drugs.

‘Nuff said.

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