What Happens When You Stop Caring?
Question by Kevin: What happens when you stop caring?
I hate my life and not in some silly immature FML sort of way. I’m having trouble finding joy in every day life. I feel like the whole world is oppressing me every direction I turn, and there can be no escape or release, no place to go where the things I care so little about cannot touch me. I want to stand outside and yell at the top of my lungs and I want to break shit, I want to be the very Angel of Destruction that we were created to be yet we try so hard not to.
I am 18 years old and I hate myself and love myself. I have an IQ of 140 and I’m a high school dropout working toward my GED. Last November, my parents sent me to a wilderness program in Oregon because I was caught with under a gram of marijuana on school grounds. I spent a month and a half there, under the impression I was coming home to my girlfriend of a year and a half afterward, but instead, I found myself in a car heading to a nearby “emotional growth” boarding school AKA a drug treatment center that doesn’t let you leave campus or communicate with the outside world, (currently under investigation for child neglect and abuse), where I spent another three and a half months. When I was being admitted into the “school” I told my parents I was going to leave when I turned 18 (April 4th) and they said they were cool with it. Two weeks after that, they sent me a letter telling me that I had to stay until next March, which would be 15 more months in hell, and that if I left earlier, they would not let me live at my house or help me get back to my home in Northern California. I left, and I am now living back at my house. How can that be so bad?
My parents constantly hold me hostage by telling me they will kick me out of my house if I “screw up” again. I can’t get a job in this fucked up country, meaning I can’t move out, so I have to live with these people who would rather me not exist. I got fucked out of getting my high school diploma when I got sent away, so I legally don’t have an education either. I lost complete control of my life in an instant when I woke up to transporters hand cuffing me in my own bed, and taking me away. Whilst the control was not mine, my parents decided they should fuck up my life for me. Thoroughly fucked over, I woke up this morning and decided I don’t care about life anymore. So my overly set up question is… where do I go from here?
I forgot to add. Therapy is out of the question. While in wilderness and the treatment center, I was messed with and manipulated by so many therapists, I can’t trust them anymore. I’ve gone with my girlfriend to see her therapist a couple times, but they all seem so slimy and fake to me now.
Best answer:
Answer by Cherry
haha, im kinda at the same point….with out all your jazz, i really don’t give a f*** about my life, you could try seeking help….you are 18, so technically your parents have no control over you, but they had no right to mess your life up so badly like that
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