Alcohol and Addiction: Trust – Surviving Love and Relationships With Alcoholics and Addicts

Trust is one of the main foundational legs of a relationship. It’s also the hardest to fix once it has been broken. An even bigger challenge is when it has been broken time and time again.

When you are in a relationship with a person, over time, trust develops. You move in together, marry, etc. Then one day this person, whom you love, begins to abuse alcohol and/or drugs. This changes him or her into a “different” person and they begin to violate the trust which had been established between the booth of you. After the fighting and arguing the person may decided it’s time to become sober.

Now the Trust building process has to begin all over again except this time you’re trying to build something stable with broken pieces. It can be very difficult, especially if the other person really doesn’t want to put fourth the time and energy to make it work.

Another challenge is trying to build “New” Trust with this “different” person while letting your “established” Trust with the “old” person dissolve.

That may seem a bit confusing so let me explain a different way. It’s next to impossible to have an enjoyable relationship with someone who abuses alcohol or drugs. As I mentioned above the alcohol/drugs changes people over time. When the person you love begins to enter sobriety they will fail many times. This is normal and it’s due to one of two reasons.

#1 – He/She is learning how to cope with the real world again. #2 – He/She has no intention of quitting.

During this process you cannot successfully maintain the same expectations of trust as you had before they began to abuse alcohol or drugs. After they have completed their program new expectations of trust have to be set. This is one of the hardest things you will have to deal with because it’s like going backwards in the relationship.

New boundaries have to be set. This will take time and energy on both your parts to make this work.

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