Why Am I Feeling So Guilty About This ?
Question by *******L…A ‘S FINEST******: why am i feeling so guilty about this ?
ok for anyone here that has ever ready my anwsers or questions you already know i come from a hard knocks of life story..
from growing up in an sexually , physically, and verbably abuisve house hold to leaving home young and growing up hard and fast on the streets , in out of jails , foster homes and yes even once prison..
to beating abuisive realtionships , drug and alcahol addiction, death of a child, loss of my kids ,and family , homelessnees , death of family members ,and friends and everythig life can throw at you in between ,
you name it and i pretty much have seen , dealt with and have been through it …
which leaves the question of why am i feeling so giulty for the death of a friend …
i had no idea untill today they had passed through an illnes due to an drinking and drug addiction and problem and i am still struggling to accept that thay are gone .. it just for some reason seems unreal ….
i guess because all my friends i grew up on the streets with where and are like family to me..including her she was like a sister to me and one of the best people i had the chance to know … spite her drinking and drug problem ..we where and always will be extremley close….
closer i think than real familys because outside of hustling and getting by we where all each other had which made the hard times and days out there a little easier to get through and bare .
i have lost a lot of friends from the ways of life on the streets , drugs alcahol etc and family members that i truley can say i loved …so this really shouldn’t effect me tha way it has or does ..
but when i found out about my friend passing today it was like a huge burdon of guilt came over me on top of the shock and heartbreak of hearing the unknown and wanted news .
thing is i knew she liked to get high and drink alot because of things she was dealing with ,but i never knew it was bad enough to make her that sick ..
and for a long time i didinrt see or speak to her because i went to get my life back on track and staightned out ……
in a way by doing that i feel as if i abandoned her and my friends by doing that and feel and carry guilt in thinking if i had did or said more
then maybeshe would have did drugs and drank less , would not have got sick and would still be here …
i know nothing is going to bring her back , but i wiash somehow i could tell her how sorry i amfor and putting a friend that was hurting so much and needed so much help last .
don’t know why i feel the need to add this but ..no i don’t still do drugs or drink , it is an addiction that almost took death to beat ,
i knew i was killing myself so that was enough to wake me up that and the fact i almoast did ..
i no longer live that life and currrently attend college for a nurseing degree , looking into starting up my own buisness and work a steady job
and have been clean for years , not to say at times i don’t get tested and tempted ,
but for my kids family i an fighting to reunite with and for acheving my goals and dreams i refuse to give and fall to the temptations
and i do use what i have been trough to help others every chance i get …… but thanks for all the anwsers guys
Best answer:
Answer by Kumar
It is not easy to get out of memory of our truly loved ones. Are you still taking drugs. If yes, my dear friend, please get out of and smell the fresh Air of Mother Earth.
Your are not the one, whom you should blame, it was drudges as per my understanding.
so if you have ever loved that friend from deep inside your heart, best thing to do for him will be- to join a campaign that took him/her away from you.
this will definitely take you out of Pain and you will come out as help for many others who are about to reach to the gateway called DEATH.
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