What Should I Do? Okay So This Might Be a Long One..?

Published May 22, 2010

My brother is a heroin addict and I knew long before my mom did that he had this problem, considering we are so close in age and have a lot of the same friends. I would try to tell her and it would just cause fights because she didn’t believe me claiming that she talked to him and their communication was good.
So my family has gone threw a lot in the past four years( like my mom and dad’s divorce and my mom loosing her job to get a worse paying one) and it has taken its tole on my mom and she has been really stressed and down. She was doing alright for a while but she went on medical leave claiming she had a sleeping problem like sleep apnea. When she went back to work my brother, who moved out about when she took her leave, admitted to having his addiction. I felt hurt and angry that she didn’t believe me but glad he was getting help.
Shortly after he came out about this she started acting weird and falling asleep a lot while she was driving and doing normal everyday stuff. I know this story is going to get a lot weirder and harder to believe but bare with me.
I started noticing these changes in her and she would stop by my brother’s house everyday after work to “check” on him and see how his treatment was going. I do believe she was checking on him for a few weeks but she started showing signs of using heroin the more I looked into her actions.
She was really lethargic and it scared me and I kept it to myself for a while and only told my boyfriend about my suspicions. I know the signs of what a person looks, acts and talks like when they are high on heroin because of the experience with my brother.
One day my mom brother and I went out to eat and when we were getting in the car, I was on the phone with my bf but slightly listening to my mom and bro (because she went on another one of her suspicious bathroom trips that she does so often) and I swore she said she was worried she dropped a balloon( meaning a balloon of heroin) and my brother even glanced at me as if to see if I heard her. So i confronted my mom later and she flipped out about how hurt she was by my accusation and at that point I thot I was making it up in my head. I later talked to them both about it and the deny it like anyone would. Now mind you people who are on drugs are very good lyers and are good at telling people everything is fine when its not. I have gone through my moms phone before and seen texts asking my brother for the usual dose and hit and other stuff like that and my brother saying he would need money and stuff. My mom has bad track marks also, which was what made me think all of this to begin with.
So I know it is not in my head and I know that she is using now and I am sad and hurt and angry and confused on why and I try to talk to her about it but she denies it and it does more damage than good at this point. So getting to the point, we recently got alot of money because my recently deceased grandmothers house sold and alot of the money is in her name. Not only am I worried about her health but she has been slacking off on work and is on her was to being fired. I still live with her and I am only 18 and still have high school to finish and I am really scared to stay living with her and watch her life be ruined but I have no job and my dad is outta the picture and I only have a few thousand dollars. I feel bad but I hate her so much right now for her decisions that I can hardly talk to her when she is obviously high and trying to hide it, Which is alot. I dont know what to do… I cant turn her in to the police i dont want to hurt her but I need her to know that I know what she is doing and I am not going to put up with it, BUT i cant really move out yet because I need to finish school… and I am so over whelmed by this situation its hard to even get up for school and I am really worried. I am already diagnosed with Panic Disorder so it puts more stress on me… i really need advise… please anyone… you could change my life by replying to this… sorry about the typing and spelling…
mmk well my bf is in the middle of being kicked outta his moms house, he is only 19 and he just got a job, he is probably going to live with his friend and i doubt i could live with them…

And the other dilemma is i don’t have my drivers license(but i have a car) and if i move out of my moms house and live on my own it will probably make me drop out of school and i wont graduate, because i live in such a rural town that there is no work and i need to move to the city… its just all so messed up.. its really hard to feel alone in life…
Wow ok so all the responses are great thanks everyone, but just for the record.. i have no friends or social life because of my panic disorder and the so called friends that i do have are distant and wouldnt know how to help me because they have freakishly perfect lives.. i have no trusted adult to talk to at all… all i can think of is to get a job and move out… even if that means putting off my high school diploma for a year or two to get settled… which sucks because i really enjoy learning and school… ps i dont want pity, just advise and someone to listen really… thank you all though…very much..

What Should I Do? Okay So This Might Be a Long One..?

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