Spiritually Speaking, Is It Wrong for Me to Abuse the Laws of Physics That His Noodliest Has Provided?

When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on its feet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the buttered side down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat. When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. A “buttered-cat array” could easily allow a high-speed monorail to link between New York with Chicago.

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