Please Leave Opinions of My Poem?

Question by I love violin playing.: Please leave opinions of my poem?
Upon the Flesh

Lyrically written as the last day I would ever step foot
Upon the basis where Meth lingers
for addiction verbalizes the loudest words,
It wasn’t until one stroke off the second hand she
takes a hit
upon the flesh.
I was revised more commonly re owned
as the Son of a Mother,
and the partner of a woman whom
ordinarily displaces herself into la la land.
Commas,
fragments,
and lines now take their place
as gestures standing angry
in the middle of a room, it is now I notice
no one really knows the answer to my question,
Gestures soar light off the stroke
The father is home absentmindedly,
A Lit cigar,
Crash another night with a lullaby in the head,
half of a dozen beer cans lie,
smoke raises from the unsteady ashtray,
The TV becomes snow
The phone rings, a man says we have won a million dollars,
as if we weren’t selfish, we believe this man.
feet fall asleep,
pupils are red
we disconnect our phone,
we hate the sound of silence.
Another Lit cigar,
I have forgotten my question,
take a number,
Gestures have begun to murder themselves,
take a hit
upon the flesh
for it has just begun.
***I know I need to fix some punctuational errors***

Best answer:

Answer by baby_blue
Wow! Any poem with this much deepness and poetical talent qualifies as well-written, in my opinion.. You focus on a uncommon, dark topic which sparks interest in a reader’s mind.

What do you think? Answer below!

Subscribe to Our Feed!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner