My Husband Has a Relapse Drug Problem About Every 3mths, Not Constant How Do I Help Him Work Through This?

Question by Tryin2holdon: my husband has a relapse drug problem about every 3mths, not constant how do I help him work through this?
Before my husband & I got married we were boyfriend & girlfriend for 6 years, we just got married in July. When I met him He had a lot of emotional & drug problems & was abused by his mother when he was a kid),he has little by little worked through these problems. I have been there for him through his situations and he has been there for me (ex: I was hospitalized for almost a year with a rare disease, he would sleep on the hospital floor to watch over me.) but many times with this drug issue I’ve caught him lying to me about where he’s been or what he was doing. I know it’s mostly shame and feeling that he has failed himself and me. But now I am married in a new apartment, not living at home with my parents & am finding myself at 5 am sitting alone here waiting for him to come home, knowing that he called me @ 7pm to tell me that he was an hour away I have this deep feeling of sadness, He is wonderful & we deeply love each other, he says the drug anxiety takes over him? what to do?

Best answer:

Answer by wollemi_pine_writer
easy… and hard… very hard…

first tell him you love him…. but not his addiction…

you will be there for him …. but not his addiction…

Let him own his own addiction

Be busy in your own life… tell him you love him now and will always love him but you are just NOT going to sit around at 5am wondering where the heck he is…

Set yourself a reasonable life pattern and invite him to join you…. but don’t let his chaotic life be the path you walk along…

He will either join you or not…

BUT the choice is his.. and his alone…

You do not need his chaos… you do not need his excuses… you do not need his lies….

Let him know you understand where he is at and where he has been but now is now… and he must take responsibility for his own life … and how he chooses to live it…

Add your own answer in the comments!