I Want Puns!?

Question by emma-lee D: i want puns!?
haha here’s one: the sign on the lawn of the drug abuse rehab center said “keep off the grass”

Best answer:

Answer by anit-nut
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
duncan – Victoria, BC
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.
Dave H – Hayward CA
6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
7. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
8. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
9. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
10. A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

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