I Think My Mother Is Using Meth Again. Can Someone Tell Me What They Think?

Well, here a few years ago we found out that my mother had been using meth. She came clean when she was actually getting clean. I have a 4 year old little girl (then 2) so I freaked out and didn’t let her see her for about a month until I could tell that she was physically better. So the main reason behind her using the meth was because of the man she was with at the time. They broke up officially about a year ago and I thought my mom had stopped the meth.

So I was completely okay with my daughter spending the night/weekend with my mom. Well, about 9 months ago or so my mom hooked up with yet another man straight out of prison who had a history of using meth (didn’t know this at the time). A few times we’d be over there and he and my mother would be arguing and he’d mention that she was using again. I didn’t believe him because my mom is an AMAZING liar and she of course denied it like a pro.

Well, I have been noticing over the past several months that she has been getting circular sores on her hands, forearms, and face. I honestly don’t know ANYTHING about hard drugs like that so I didn’t think too much of it, I’d just look the other way and believe her when she would tell me stories of how she got the sores. I believed it because she’s a diabetic and I know that when you’re a diabetic you are prone to infections and stuff.

So this morning I went to go pick up my daughter from over there and as I was walking in the door, my mom said that my daughter had been up until 4am complaining about her legs hurting. My mom actually didn’t look tired at all, in fact she was up and ready and energetic. I must be an idiot I know.

So I go in the room to get my girl out of the bed and low and behold on the nightstand right beside the bed, was a metal tablespoon-like spoon with a bent handle. It had a white milky-like residue in the bowl of the spoon. I started snooping at that point and found 2 nasal sprays in her drawer. I stopped at that point because I was ready to murder my mom.

I know that if I confront my mom that she will just deny it and get all defensive and start saying what a horrible mom I am and stuff and she will bring me way down. Not to mention that it is hurting my daughter so BAD if I take her away from my mom. My daughter adores her. I don’t want to break her heart, but at the same time, I can’t subject my daughter to that. I feel like a horrible mother for not taking notice of the signs previously.

My question is, how can I corner her with no room to come back with a denial? How do I deal with my daughter and explain to her that she can’t see her Nana? Is this even for sure meth that she is on, or could it be something else?

I feel like such a horrible mother because I know that if my daughter had gotten curious and decided to put this spoon in her friggin mouth, that it could have killed her. I asked my daughter if she saw my mother putting white stuff in her nose or giving herself a shot, or if she saw her lighting a spoon on fire (saw this done on a movie don’t know if that’s actually what they do).

Please help, I feel so stuck, lost, and betrayed.