Drug Use and Apathy…?? HELP?!?

Question by Katie T: drug use and apathy…?? HELP?!?
i’m a little too apathetic than i should be about taking drugs. i just don’t care what happens to me. i have done marijuana, prescription drugs (adderall, my brothers for his ADD,) i’ve drank but nothing i think is serious. i took an adderall before and i feel lifeless and physically numb. the other day i actually had the motivation to do coke. i know that this is bad and i definately should NOT be doing it, but i just…don’t…care really. my close friend is concerned and i feel like a disappointment, but then i just do some of whatever i have at the moment, and i forget about it. he told me to stop many times and i made no promises. i know i shouldn’t have done it to begin with, but i did and now i’m stuck.

i never in a gazillion years thought this would be me. i’m afraid that this is going to get out of control. i think it might have been because i felt competition between me and my brother. last year he would call me pathetic because he was high and i wasn’t. if i drank, he would call me lame for only having four (but i wasn’t about to drink 10 more because i know my limits). he critizied everything i did and called me lame because i know he likes to feel like he’s some amazing person. now, i feel like i have to compete and be the more messed up one in order to win this competition.

i don’t want my life to go down the drain like a useless junkie. what can i do? i feel like if i stop, my teen years are going to be lame. it’s about experience right? i like the feeling of being high and light headed but i don’t want to become hooked. is this a sign of an upcoming addiction? anything i could do instead? HELP?!?

Best answer:

Answer by nickipettis
Honestly?
I think you should start going to AA meetings now.
most meetings are OK about you using multiple drugs.

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