Authors? Does This Scene Sound Believable?

Published May 28, 2010

Dark, dank and dinky.
That was the only way to describe the horribly claustrophobic waiting room at the police station on the 1st precinct on the corner of West Broadway and Ericcson Place, where she’d been interrogated by a balding, mustachioed, Krispy Kreme consuming inspector by the name of Ovagio. Ps, what kind of a name is that anyway?

“Mr. Ovagio–”

“Inspector. Inspector Ovagio please”

“Right” Selisi had to resist rolling her eyes and bite back a few choice swear words. It wasn’t easy, given that the man had I’m pushing 50 and still a Big Fat Loser! written all over his face in bright florescent letters. “Inspector Ovagio, you have to believe me. I am so not involved in that regeneration crap bullshit”

“I believe you”

Whoa. She’d half expected a battle of having to convince him. “You do?” She asked, incredulous.

“Sure. Luckily for you, we’ve identified every member of that drug ring. Want membership? You’ll have to give up your index finger as a rite of passage”

Eww.

“So—wait a minute, if I’m innocent, why are you detaining me in this hellhole?”

Ouch!

“Ms Benner, I regret to inform you, you are under arrest for cocaine possession of 500 grams.”

Whoops!

“Can I call my lawyer?”

“By all means” Inspector Ovagio bit into a chocolate donut, oblivious to the dollop of cream that had smeared his graying mustache. Selisi speed dialed her mother’s lawyer, who promptly arrived with a distraught Camilla.

“Camilla Benner? Former Miss New York 1989 Camilla?”

To Selisi’s horror, her mother actually blushed. “You have a great memory” Her laugh tinkled with money.

“Naw” Inspector Ovagio waved the now crescent shaped donut around. “You were like, the pin up girl for all the guys in the locker room. Man, you were so hot! And I gotta say, you still are. Hot I mean”

The conversation would’ve been cute and complimentary had it involved two high school sweethearts instead of middle aged, married adults, and as such, it was downright inappropriate. “Mom!” Selisi hissed and Camilla was reminded why she was here in the first place. Her tone quickly became business like. “Inspector O-”

“Ovagio. Please, no need for formalities”

Selisi tried not to throw up her barely digested tequila in disgust. Wasn’t it like, illegal to flirt over the age of 25? “Of course” She heard Camilla say. “So, Ovagio, about my daughter….”

“Oh that? Forget about it! Lets classify this as some minor misunderstanding shall we? I mean, what can I say? Kids will be kids eh?” He patted the top of Selisi’s head and she tried not to recoil with distaste. After all, she was pretty much getting off the hook wasn’t she?

“However, Mrs Benner” Ovagio paused, letting his sentence hover in the air, pregnant with anticipation. “However….. young Selisi here will have to attend some rehabilitation programs for two hours every week.”

What?!

“Of course” Camila nodded seriously, as if sending her daughter to rehab was now her number one priority. “Absoultely. Did you hear that dear? You’re lucky Mr. Ovagio here is not pressing any charges against you”

Inspector Ovagio seemed pleased with himself. He had no way of knowing that Camilla thought him a cretin that needed to be extinguished immediately. As far as she was concerned, the family name needed to be protected at all costs, and the last thing she wanted was a full page report in The New York Observer about her daughter’s substance abuse problems. It was pretty disgusting to think that these middle aged toads drooled over her pictures and still remembered her, although, being a woman, she couldn’t help but be flattered by the compliments, even if they were from odious louts like Ovagio.

“If you can wait a minute….” Ovagio was digging into the drawers for something. “….here, some very helpful brochures and listings of rehab centers in New York” His pudgy hands with dirt caked fingernails handed Camilla the stack of brochures covered with a spray of dust, which Selisi was pretty sure was going to be dumped in the garbage bin. Since when did her mother take anything besides shopping seriously?

i feel like its fake. but i need to send my character to rehab, not jail!

Authors? Does This Scene Sound Believable?

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