I am beyond tired of living like this. Is it possible to have multiple mental disorders? I remember my very first fears were in pre-school. My mother would have to be in visible sight of me in order to make it through the day. When I was in first grade I developed a fear of choking and began eating baby food and ice cream. After I overcame this, I seemed to be depressed all day and everyday. I had no self confidence what-so-ever, was shy, lonely but always wanting to be alone, and constantly down. This went on for years until I reached high school where I started developing panic attacks. Once it became clear I could not function, my parents finally found me some help. After about six months of not knowing what was wrong with me I was diagnosed with panic disorder. I was then given lexapro ( an antidepressant). I have to say that after the first few months of taking this drug, life could not have been better for me. During this time I had the most self confidence and was the happiest I had ever been. Unfortunately, this effect did not last forever or even for very long. I slowly started reverting back to my unending, chronic, and constant battles within my mind. The panic attacks have almost completely diminished but now I feel stressed and tense almost all the time. I especially feel this way while I am in public or at social events. I still take lexapro everyday and have been for years but the effect is no where near satisfactory anymore. I always feel little pains or odd things go on inside my body or I feel or see things my body does or produce and I immediatly think and fear the worst. Even if I visit the doctor and he/she tells me nothing is wrong I refuse to believe them and constantly feel like I have some sort of life threatening illness like cancer. I’m obsessed with death. All I can think about everyday is dying and the fear I have from these thoughts is debilitating. I’ll go inside a class room full of people and think to myself that everyone in here is eventually going to die including myself. I constantly fear I’m going to develop or already have a life threatening illness or that I’m going to just fall over dead. I’m only twenty-one years old but I’m feeling real physical and emotional pain and I cannot function or live life the way I want to or wish I could. This is a very condensed version of all the things I feel and think. I know I should stop worrying because it doesn’t do any good and all of those obvious answers but what most people cannot understand is that I honestly can’t help it. I’m tired of being fearful of going outside of my house or socializing or traveling. I want to live life. I need advice on what to do if there is anything I can do. I just want to live life without having to constantly worry about every little thing. There is so much I want to do or accomplish and yet I feel like I can’t and never will because my mental state controls my life. Please somebody help me. Thank you.

narcotic addiction

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